Holland & My Dad

Im in Holland at the moment and will be here for 2 weeks! Trying to enjoy it but im with same rather boring people and im already homesick.

Travelled on a Sunday and arrived in Holland witout much fuss, had a tasty doner whilst i waited for the train at Amsterdam train station. Caught the train to Eindhoven and arrived at the hotel at 8pm. All in all quite a good journey apart from the turbelence from the tiny lego plane i caught.

Rang the mrs and told her i arrived safely and then rang my parent to tell them the same.

Ring, Ring, Ring

Someone answers the phone.

"Hello"
"........................................................"
"Hello?"
"......................................................."
"HELLO?!"
"You don't have to shout"
"Well why weren't you answering?"
"because i was waiting for you to say something?"

Now this is a common problem i have when my dad picks up the phone. Mum isn't a problem cause she'll answer straight away but my dad, he's a pain in the arse!

He either

1)Doesn't even pick up the phone
2)Waits ten fucking years to say hello when he answers (so you start to doubt if you've even rung the right number or the lines dodgy!)
3)Passes the phone directly to my mum as soon as he hears its me without telling me or my mum
4) Or screams down the phone BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Below are just some of the things that drive me crazy, perhaps my sisters can do one for my mum as hers are allot more funnier! Like her constant attempts at cooking new recipes, E.g hot chillies in Salad, or biriyani with orange peel in it.


Anyway here are a few for my dad:

Mixes his corn flakes with anything, and i mean anything, left overs from the night before, bit of curry, tea etc etc.

Will eat anything, even if its off, smells rank, regardless of taste he will love it, even if he has done the same thing a few weeks ago and has gotten food poisoning from it.

Attempts to help you fix something, in the process fucking it up so much that you have to pay someone to come and do it or he has to do it"properly" and takes a further 2 weeks and also telling you that it was YOUR fault when it was really HIS!

Slagging you off publicly in front of family/ friends / police officers (Me only)

Criticising things really loud, especially in shops re: clothes, products etc etc in the vicinity of the shop manager

Coming out of the cinema watching a really good film and then saying it was shit. For Example: Jurassic Park, when it came out it was like wow, what brilliant special effects. So we take my dad to the cinema to watch it as he like all those nature programmes and stupidly thought he'd love it.
We all come out and we were like "wow, what a great film, see those special effects dad?"

"It was rubbish, the old black and white King Kong was better, that was rubbish"

Saying he could make anything cheaper than half the price of the thing you have just bought.

Anyway i better go, I'm actually supposed to be learning a new programming language.