Tricks of the trade!

Hi guys and gals, well im baaaack!

Thanks to my big sis who put all my posts on this free blog!

Its been a loong time since i last posted so ill start where i left off really, so hang on to your hats ladies and gentlemen...

Arrived at the dreaded office early, for those who don't know (which will be all of you) i have now made friends with all the security guards at work. Don't ask me how, all i can say is it involved me, a large screwdriver and their cars being scratched and me pretending to chase off the guys who did it! heheheheheh.

Anyway arrived at work, in my own personal parking space which has now been allocated to me, i also get a Good morning Mr .... from the ladies at reception.

Walk in the office to find one of my colleagues (new guys) sitting at his desk with his head in his hands.

"Whats up mate?"
"Oh I'm sooo stressed, thank god you came in early"
"What u stressed about?"
"I had to do these checks on these servers at xxxxx and i accidentally turned it off!"
"YOU WHAT?!"
"yeah!...sniff...sniff..."

Just what i fucking need first thing...


"Well OK, I'm here now, lets turn them back on eh? These checks what were they for anyway?
"Oh just checking the backups etc etc, i had to do that and then get the engineer who's on site to turn them back on"
"Well, whats the problem? just get the engineer on site to turn them back on, job done!"
"ummm......"
"What?"
"i....told...... the engineer to not to go to site"
"why?"
"Didn't think i needed him"
"Well you were wrong weren't you?"
"Well not to worry that site is only down the road, ill get someone to go down there now."
"that's the other problem...I shut down the wrong site."
"oh for fucks sake man, OK what site is it?"
"Its in......."
"Just spit it out man, come on we ain't got long till they all start ringing and fucking complaining!"
"Its.....Its.......nah..you're just going to cuss me"
"Well I'm going to fucking HIT you if you don't tell me what site it is so which one you want? Plus i wouldn't cuss you, you're new to this"
"oh OK, the site is in Ireland"
"IRELAND, you FUCKING ARSEHOLE!, How in fucks name we going to get anyone down there! You lun! Are you doing this shit on purpose to give me a headache or something?"

After 5 mins of ripping him apart........


"OK, here's the plan of action, you don't mention this shit to anyone OK?"
"Eh?"
"We don't know they have gone down, and they don't know they have gone down, so everyone is happy eh?"
"Eh?"
"WE DON'T KNOW SHIT"
"ohhhhhhhh....i............ seeeeeeeee"
"But what if they ring up and say ...... isn't working"
"Then we investigate it and realise they need an engineer on site don't we?"
"Ahhhhhhh. man you are a lifesaver"




20 mins later........................






RINg! RINg! RINg!

"Hello, xxxx speaking how can i help?"
"Hi there this is xxx speaking from xxxxxx, we cant seem to access our xxxxx"
"Really? Where are you calling from?"
"IRELAND!"

FREEBIE BLOGGING!!

Don't say I never do anything for you ... You are up, running and free!!! Check out the cricket headlines on the side too ... Man you must be so lucky to have a sis like me!!